


Feline

by GamblingDementor



Category: In the Heights - Miranda
Genre: Cat Lady Vanessa, Cats, F/M, Fluff, Gen, Kittens, emotional range of a teaspoon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-12
Updated: 2016-12-12
Packaged: 2018-09-08 05:22:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8832043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GamblingDementor/pseuds/GamblingDementor
Summary: In his own mind, Usnavi likes to think that he doesn't have one cat in his life but two. Of course, there is Dulces, his actual cat. She's as free as the summer breeze, sleek and black and soft-furred and beautiful. And then, there is Vanessa.
A tale of cats and denial.





	

 

In his own mind, Usnavi likes to think that he doesn't have one cat in his life but two. He never voices that out loud, of course, because he's not quite stupid enough that he doesn't know people would jump to their own bawdy conclusions about what he means and turn the observation into some sort of sex joke, which it isn't.

 

Of course, there is Dulces, his actual cat. She's as free as the summer breeze. Every so often, he becomes convinced that the bodega is not her only home, because she can be gone for days at a time. Every time, he gets worried and fears for her life, but then she comes back and always she's the same as she ever was, sleek and black and soft-furred and beautiful. She's his companion on these nights it gets a little lonely at home now that he lives here on his own without Abuela or Sonny to fill the empty space. Dulces spots sadness from miles away and pushes it away one purr at a time, climbing on his lap and demanding to be petted and scratched behind the ears and loved. Usnavi doesn't believe it's possible to feel sad while petting a cat.

 

And then, there is Vanessa. As free as Dulces, though she keeps him updated to her whereabouts − he likes to think that Dulces would too if she had access to a phone like Vanessa does. Vanessa is the most beautiful of all, of course, and he can't live without her smile and her hair and her hands in his, the air of mystery still clinging to her even after a couple years of dating now. He's lucky enough to share her life, share her bed, but every moment with her feels as much like a gift as it used to during every first time with her. He is not taking her for granted, not ever, because just like a cat, her attention is precious and she doesn't just give it away to every passerby. He smiles on the inside whenever he catches her waking up late morning and stretching in the sun, whenever she lies with her head on his lap and he scratches her behind the ears and she closes her eyes and never looks so relaxed, whenever she climbs on him and demands attention _right now_.

 

He hasn't seen either of his cat ladies in a couple days. Vanessa, he knows why. She told him the fashion house was keeping inventory and they needed her to work extra time for a few days, and she needed some me time after work to unwind, and of course he understood. Vanessa is independent and beautiful and even though she's kind of his, she's also absolutely _not_ his. Sometimes, they don't see each other for a few days and he's not worried.

 

Dulces, though.

 

"Yo, Sonny?"

 

Sonny looks up from his phone where he's been texting non-stop for the past hour instead of keeping the shop with Usnavi, but it's a slow day on Sundays and Usnavi doesn't mind. Sonny needs his me time as well and even though Usnavi would never admit it to his face, he loves seeing that smile plastered all over Sonny's face whenever he's texting whoever it is he's texting these days. But unfortunately for his cousin, his cats still come first.

 

"Yep?"

 

"You seen the cat?"

 

"Mmh?"

 

"Dulces," Usnavi insists. "You seen her anywhere these days? It's been a while."

 

Sonny's face goes blank and the search party begins. Historically, Dulces hasn't wandered all that far beyond their block and Usnavi sticks to that tiny portion of New York City for the moment. Sonny helps, or at least tries to, because he's making weird noises with his mouth that Dulces has never answered to before anyways, and together they scout the streets in hope of finding Usnavi's cat because it's been long enough that he's getting anxious. It takes up the better part of the night before Usnavi receives a text from Sonny giving him some location. Usnavi sprints there as soon as he gets it and doesn't care if people make fun. He's panting by the time he finds Sonny, who sees him and immediately puts a finger on his lips to beg him to keep silent.

 

"Wha…" Usnavi starts, but Sonny sticks a hand on his mouth to keep it shut and points.

 

Behind a big trash container, on a piece of cardboard, here is his cat alright. But she's not alone. One, two, three, four, five little balls of spiky fur are huddling against her, their cries so faint he almost can't hear them, but there's five of them and they make the sweetest little ensemble.

 

"Dulces is a mama," Sonny whispers, as if Usnavi was blind.

 

He can't believe it. He almost feels offended he didn't notice that his beautiful cat was pregnant, and that she never ever considered his home the right place to have her litter. But then, cats are unpredictable. After a jog to the bodega to fetch some box and back here, Usnavi convinces Dulces to come back with him in the cardboard box he lined with his softest sweater. It takes a few treats to get her to come, but one ball after the other, she transports all of her progeny with her and lies back next to them protectively.

 

The kittens are the news all over the barrio for a few days. He keeps them in the backroom of the bodega where it's peaceful and warm and the little kids who promise to be very quiet get to visit the cat mama and her little cat babies. It's not long before they start to beg to get one of their own and soon, with parents' permission, four little kittens are promised away. Only the last one is still Usnavi's to keep for now, the dark brown one − he hasn't named them so far and now that they're going to find another home as soon as they're weaned, they're not his to name anyways. 

 

"What's this?" Vanessa frowns when she finds the time to meet him up in Washington Heights for the first time since the kittens were born.

 

"Li'l baby cats," Sonny replies. "Are they super cute or what?"

 

"Mmphf," Vanessa grunts. "Sure."

 

She's frozen by the backroom door where Sonny immediately led her as soon as she stepped a foot inside the bodega, staring down at the kittens. They're still so tiny and fragile, barely moving except to nurse from their mother, and yet they're already such a miracle.

 

"You don't like cats?" Usnavi asks, an arm around her waist.

 

She snaps away from his touch.

 

" _Cats are fine._ " Her voice is restrained. "Come to my place tonight?"

 

She's being weird, but Usnavi lets it slide. He's being weird all the time and she's fine with it. He better repay the favor.

 

"Alright," he promises, and she leaves with barely a peck on the lips as a goodbye kiss.

 

She mentions the cats again as soon as he walks inside her apartment.

 

"Are the kittens fine?" She asks abruptly. "Did you leave them alone?"

 

"I… Hello and yes to both."

 

"Yes, right, hello," she says, giving him a half-hearted kiss, a compulsory kiss. "Is it safe to leave them alone?"

 

He gets to her kitchen and opens the fridge. Good, she's bought groceries. He can get to cooking. She sits in the closest armchair to watch him at it, as she likes.

 

"Yes, Dulces is a great mom, you know."

 

She hums, disbelieving.

 

"She is! She's like, licking them and stuff. It's cute."

 

"Mmh, cute, sure."

 

The night goes on and on, Usnavi cooking and cleaning up after he's finished and then eating with her on her couch, and all the while she keeps asking questions about the cats. From what he feeds them (nothing yet, they're too little, but he always gives Dulces the best of the best) to how much experience he has with baby cats (quite a bit, this may be Dulces' first litter but he had a couple litters with his old cat when he was younger before they had her spayed), there isn't an aspect of their life she isn't interested in.

 

"I found homes for four of them," he says, trying to be thoughtful. "You want the last one?"

 

"What?!" She screeches. " _No._ "

 

She says it too fast, suspicious enough that even Usnavi catches on it, but something in her face tells him to drop it.

 

He _would_ drop it if she didn't keep bringing up the cats. She tries to be subtle about it, she really does. At first, she only asks about them casually, just how are the cats doing, like she couldn't care less. But it happens every time she sees him, as natural as asking about Sonny. Soon it's not just face to face anymore. She'll text him about the cats, just once in a while at first, but then enough that it's become insistent. Usnavi doesn't quite know what to think of it. He answers every text.

 

It's one of these days where Usnavi decides to take a day off and ask Sonny to keep the bodega all on his own today. Of course, Sonny is making him so proud now, going to community college with what he saved for himself from his 32 grands, and he's busy most of the week, but that doesn't mean Usnavi won't make him work on weekends. The kid needs to learn what hard work is, like Usnavi had to. It's Saturday and he had Sonny open the shop in the morning all on his own. Usnavi is a morning person and it's barely an hour past opening when he wakes up, but he can't stand to stay in bed much longer. He gets ready and saunters down to the shop to check on his cousin.

 

He finds the shop empty when he arrives. Suspicious. Very suspicious. Sonny is not always the exemplary bodega worker but he's also not a complete crook. He's supposed to be here already − the door is unlocked after all. Then he hears it. Giggles, and not just Sonny's, coming from the backroom. The door was left ajar and he tiptoes the few steps separating him from it.

 

"Gimme the last one," the voice that is definitely not Sonny says, "I want all five."

 

"A'ight, but then you let _me_ be the kitty master."

 

"You wish."

 

Usnavi knows exactly what to expect when he looks behind that door, and yet the sight is still so foreign he can't believe it. Vanessa, his beautiful cat of a girlfriend, covered with kittens, smiling like she rarely ever smiles, even for him. She's holding them close as if they were fragile human babies and not little balls of fur, peppering them with kisses, giggling in pure ecstasy. She's sitting against the shelves, Dulces between her legs and she's trying to pet her while also holding up the five kittens in her other arm.

 

"They're licking my arm, oh my god. You seen that, Son'?"

 

But Sonny isn't looking at her.

 

"Oh shit," he lets out at once. "Hey, cuz, how you doin'? Aren't you sleeping?"

 

He stands up and tries to block Usnavi from the view, as if Usnavi hadn't already seen what's going on, as if Sonny wasn't too short to block anything anyways.

 

"Hey," Usnavi says slowly. "Checking on the little kitties?"

 

"Nope," Vanessa says. She's standing up already, the kittens scrawling back to their mom, and she's apparently pretending she wasn't snuggling them five seconds ago. "Not me. No checking on nothing here."

 

"Yeah, V was helping me clean up," Sonny says confidently, the little liar. "Cats are in their box. Why are you here? Usnavi, you need to go back to bed."

 

Vanessa rushes past the both of them out of the room, red in the face. The bells hanging by the door of the bodega ring twice − she's gone.

 

"What was that about?" Usnavi asks.

 

Sonny shuffles from feet to feet awkwardly.

 

"I mean, I don't know if I should tell you…"

 

"She's _my_ girlfriend."

 

" _She's her own person_ , cuz, she can have secrets from you too."

 

Usnavi grunts.

 

" _I know that_ , I just… Ugh, nevermind."

 

This is only the first of a long series of interruptions like this, all in a few short weeks. He finds Vanessa surreptitiously tiptoeing to the backroom to sneak a peak at the kittens. Taking pictures. Asking for pictures. He hears Sonny and Vanessa whisper behind their hands, thinking he's not noticing. He notices, of course. Is she expecting him to miss her Instagram updates every day with pictures of the kittens? Or to miss the fact that she's suddenly fine with chatting with kids, which surprises until he realizes that they're the children who are to adopt the cats. He has to have Sonny beg her not to threaten them.

 

Usnavi can't seem to catch her with the kittens again. She looks determined to pretend he never did in the first place. Both of them are leading a double life. There's the Usnavi that acts normal, unsuspicious, who would never bring up such a silly topic as cats again.  But the Usnavi on the inside is dubious at best and sees right through the Vanessa that is indifferent to the cats in his presence around them, because he knows that she is simultaneously obsessed with them and barely hides it.

 

He could keep this going if it weren't for two things.

 

First of all, there is the fact that Vanessa can't seem to contain her love for the kittens to just him and somehow Sonny, her gatekeeper of the paradize backroom where the cats are still living. Her social accounts are all about the cats now, that's evidence enough. Then there is Nina calling Usnavi to ask when Vanessa got cats because she's received several mails already and Vanessa never said she adopted or found cats. Then Sonny starts taking more shifts than he would and thinks Usnavi doesn't notice the brand new pictures on Vanessa's dash after every shift, doesn't know she's been here. Her fridge door is covered with pictures − it always was, but Usnavi doesn't love that pictures of the two of them are being hidden behind photos of kittens that aren't even hers.

 

Because they're not, and this is starting to be a problem as well, the second reason why he has to intervene at some point. The kittens are growing every day, exploring the entirety of this room that is their world, and soon they'll be weaned. It's the greatest joy for the families he's promised the four kittens to, but it also means that Vanessa won't get to see the kittens a whole lot anymore, not the ones that will get adopted away. Usnavi can keep hope for the last one.

 

"So I'm giving the kittens to their families next weekend," he tells her one night, hanging out at her place.

 

She freezes in his arms, turns so he can't see her but he still hugs her from behind on the couch. Arms around her stomach, face buried in her long, long hair, this is how he feels comfortable.

 

"Already…" She sighs. "Alright."

 

"Do you… You wanna have the last one?"

 

"No! Of course not."

 

She slouches back even further into him, seeking all the contact, makes him hold her tight and close. He kisses her neck and swears she almost purrs, sad cat she is tonight.

 

"I mean, they still down by the bodega if you wanna…"

 

"Yes." She replies so quickly, before he's even finished, and is up on her feet.

 

He's about to follow her when she turns and puts a hand on his chest. She's looking down as she talks in a much too low voice that she never uses.

 

"Can I go alone?"

 

He frowns. Vanessa doesn't go downtown without him, not when the bodega is closed, she just doesn't.

 

"Please," she begs.

 

"Erm, I mean…"

 

"I'll owe you one," she says desperately. "Anything at all, even that thing we talked about…"

 

" _It's not about sex!_ " he squeaks. "It's… ugh, nevermind."

 

He gets his keys from the bowl by the entrance and tosses them her way. She hugs him (a rarity from her when they're not cuddling) and gets on her way.

 

Anxious to have been left alone, Usnavi makes himself useful at Vanessa's. He first does the dishes, hoping that the sound of water, the warmth of it, the scent of that citrus dish soap he buys her will all calm him down by the time Vanessa comes back. But soon the dishes shine neatly in their cupboards and no Vanessa in sight. Usnavi puts some order in the little studio, sorts Vanessa's clothes for laundry because she never does, prepares a quick breakfast she'll just have to heat up in the morning and finally, that door opens again to Vanessa's red face and puffy eyes. In the few years that they've been together, Usnavi has yet to see Vanessa cry, but with time she's stopped hiding when she has.

 

"Vanessa…"

 

She passes him by without a glance and crashes onto her bed face first, wrapping herself up in her comforter. Usnavi sits next to her awkwardly.

 

"Erm, do you want me to…"

 

Vanessa turns around only to grab him (rather forcefully) and make him lie with her on the bed, his arms tight around her. Usnavi's heart clenches with affection for her. He kisses her hair and she buries her face even closer against his torso. His hands rub circles against her back and though she's not crying, her breathing is hitched and Usnavi knows she's not doing too well.

 

"I said goodbye," she says with such hurt in her voice he wishes he could give her the whole litter.

 

She doesn't say anything else and neither does Usnavi. He's never been great at saying the right things, but he can try and be the best at cuddling. Nothing he does for Vanessa is ever enough, at least from his point of view, because she deserves everything, summer islands and chocolate fountains and silk everywhere, but she seems content with the cuddles, and the cool presents with these grands still dwindling down these days, and his endless admiration.

 

The following days, there is a halo of sadness surrounding Vanessa that gets Usnavi all blue as well. Even Nina back for spring break doesn't seem to do the trick. Vanessa doesn't come to the bodega for a few days and only answers his texts sporadically.

 

"Sonny?" Usnavi asks at dinner.

 

"Mmh?" Sonny hums, eyes on his phone.

 

Usnavi wants to grab it from his hands but that exact situation has happened before and did not have a happy ending for Usnavi, so he refrains.

 

"Ya seen Vanessa?"

 

Sonny looks up suspiciously.

 

"Your _girlfriend_ Vanessa?"

 

" _Sonny_ ," Usnavi warns.

 

"Alright, alright… No, I haven't seen her. Why you ask?"

 

"Nothin'," Usnavi frowns. "Nothin' at all."

 

Dulces jumps on the table and slithers between the plates and pots to come beg for his attention. He scratches her behind the ears, under the chin, strokes her back. She purrs, asks for more until she's had her fill and jumps off the table. She's back to her armchair with her little one, the only kitten left from her litter. Usnavi wonders if he should name him now. He has an odd feeling about doing that.

 

Of course, Daniela notices Vanessa's spleen and decides to fix everything. Before Usnavi knows what's happening, he is dragged along with Sonny, Nina, Carla and Vanessa's mother Maria all squeezed in Daniela's pick-up all the way downtown to the West 4th.

 

"What are you doing?" Vanessa grumbles when the whole clique enters her apartment with Usnavi's key.

 

"Mija, this is an intervention," Daniela says.

 

"Catervention!" Sonny pouts. "We talked about this."

 

Daniela rolls her eyes but with kindness and she doesn't correct him.

 

"I don't need no intervention," Vanessa says, her feet tucked under her legs, hugging herself.

 

"Will _this guy_ change your mind?" Nina smiles and takes the kitten out of the box they've put him in during the ride.

 

Vanessa's eyes widen just briefly before turning ice cold again.

 

" _No_ ," she says. "I don't _care_."

 

They all sit near her on the couches and Nina shoves the cat onto Vanessa's lap. At first, Vanessa looks like she wants to push him away in fear but then the kitten makes himself at home on her, a little ball of fur, and instinctively her hand drops to pet him. Daniela looks around, her back straight. She always looks like she owns the place wherever she goes. Usnavi misses her in the Heights but he still never gets his hair cut anywhere else than her salon, even in the Bronx.

 

"Who will start?" She asks.

 

"I will," Nina replies immediately.

 

She pulls a carefully folded letter out of her pocket, unfolds it, flattens it out on her lap.

 

"What the…" Vanessa starts but Nina starts reading.

 

"Dear Vanessa," she says, eyes on Vanessa as if she'd learned the letter by heart. "What the frick? I've been in California since Christmas and you've sent me twenty-seven emails about this cat." Vanessa looks like she wants to retort something but Nina shuts her up with a glance. "I want to learn about how you're doing, not how the cat is doing. Please be my best friend again, adopt that cat and talk to me. Love, Nina."

 

Vanessa is fully glaring by the end of Nina's letter but doesn't reply. She pulls the cat a bit closer to her.

 

"Can I go next?" Carla asks.

 

Daniela smiles and nods. Carla has no letter to read, but she leans over to pat Vanessa's shoulder.

 

"Vanessa, we're worried about you." Vanessa hides a smile, bites it back, but Usnavi sees it all the same. "We want you to be happy and you really want this kitty, so why don't you keep him home? I think he likes you."

 

"Yeah and… sorry, did I interrupt?" Sonny asks. Carla shakes her head. "We tired of hearing you talk about the cat all the time, V."

 

"Sonny!" Carla chides, slapping his arm gently. "This isn't what we're doing…"

 

"A'ight, I'm sorry, okay, but it's the truth? She misses the cat all the time so it's all she talks about, just take him!"

 

Vanessa looks like she might punch Sonny any time. Usnavi wants to reach over and hold her, maybe pull her on his lap and cuddle, but that's not really a thing they do in front of others.

 

"Kitten," Maria speaks up and everyone turns to listen.

 

Vanessa's mom is fragile, they all know. She's vulnerable and ever since she's started the twelve steps, she's a lot more quiet than she used to be. Usnavi has never really known her before, not when she used to drink, but he's heard the occasional anecdote from Vanessa and he knows she's changed immensely. He also knows that she hasn't missed Vanessa's resemblance to a cat.

 

"Yes?" Vanessa asks her.

 

"I want to hear about you and your boyfriend," she says and Usnavi can't help straightening up his back proudly. "I want to hear about your job, and your friends, your dreams. I think you should get this cat and be happy again so we can talk like we used to."

 

Vanessa lowers her eyes bashfully, petting the kitten. He's purring, in perfect paradize. Usnavi can't blame him.

 

"I mean, I always thought you wanted the kitten," he says. "I didn't give him away, I mean, I think you really wanna have him, right?"

 

Vanessa avoided commenting on anything so far, but she's now confronted to the question and glancing away. It's a little while before she talks, the rest of them staring at each other awkwardly.

 

"I guess I'm afraid of, erm, being judged for how much I like cats…"

 

"Van, we all know you love cats now," Nina says, patting Vanessa's knee. "You barely hide it."

 

"Shut up," Vanessa grumbles.

 

"For everyone's sake," Daniela asks, "Will you adopt this cat and stop talking about him all the time?"

 

"No promise."

 

" _Vanessa_."

 

"Ugh, _fine_." She holds up the kitten in front of her face. "Whatcha think, Sonny?"

 

"I told you," Sonny says, "I want you to adopt the damn…"

 

"I'm not talking to you," Vanessa retorts. "I'm talking to my cat."

 

Nina snorts. Sonny's mouth drops open.

 

"You… you can't name him like me!"

 

"Says who?"

 

"Says me!"

 

"Well, this is _my_ cat," Vanessa says. " _You_ told me you wanted me to have him. Do you want me to let him go and just…"

 

"Ugh, I don't care," Sonny gives up, hands in the air. "Call him Sonny if you wanna…"

 

"I think our work is done here," Daniela says and stands up. "Are we leaving? I think Vanessa and Sonny need some time to themselves…"

 

They stand up and Usnavi is about to join them when Vanessa tugs on his sleeve.

 

"You stay."

 

He doesn't miss Daniela's smirk on her way out and he's sure that neither did Vanessa. He sits next to Vanessa on the couch and all on her own, she sits on his lap, the kitten standing up to explore the rest of the couch on his own. She strokes Usnavi's cheek gently and kisses him.

 

"I love you," she says. "Thanks."

 

Usnavi's heart always races whenever he hears those words, turns him into a little cloud floating around.

 

"Are you talking to Sonny?" He jokes, his hands fidgeting around her stomach nervously.

 

"I'm talking to you," she says, resting her head against his shoulder. "And also to Sonny. You're my boys."

 

Usnavi thinks of his Dulces at home and smiles.

 

"Shit, I'ma have to go buy cat food and litter and…"

 

"Nah, Daniela bought them for you," he says. "Big box next to the door, got you covered."

 

"Oh. Nice."

 

Together, they watch Sonny pad across the small apartment, sniffing everywhere, getting used to new surroundings. His new home.

 

"Are you happy?" Usnavi asks.

 

Vanessa kisses his neck, making herself comfortable on his lap.

 

"Yeah, I am."

 

 

That night, as Usnavi watches Vanessa sleeping flat on her stomach, Sonny nestled in a ball in the cascade of her hair, he is certain that they made the right decision. Vanessa just needed a little push to accept how much she needed her cat.

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave a comment if you liked this! Even just a couple of words. You don't need to have an account for it.


End file.
